Ordering Online...A Risky Business

So I've found myself in a new job.  One that has left me spending a lot more time in the mornings wondering what to wear.  I'm not a fancy gal.  Jeans.  T-shirts.  My last job involved scrubs, so all I had to worry about was if they were clean.  Or, clean enough. 

I'm a big advocate of clean enough. 

Now though, this new position leaves me in a "jeans only on Fridays" dilemma.  As the proud owner of pets, I'm not a big fan of black pants.  As a raging klutz, I'm not a huge fan of khakis either.  So that leaves me with skirts.  And dresses. 

Now how does a lazy- errmm busy- gal shop?  Why online of course!  Enter Amazon.  Seriously.  I buy almost all my shit there.  Free two day shipping?  Hells yeah! 

Enter... This dress...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B073PPVD3Q

Looks cute.  Right?  So like a savvy shopper I read the reviews.  Runs small.  Ok.  I'm normally a solid XL so if I order two sizes up that makes me a >>gasp<< xxxl.  Seriously.  Tripple X.  Not the dirty fun kind.  Ok.  Right price.  Free shipping.  Click.  Stalk the mail.  

Yeah.... So it shows up in a plastic envelope no article of clothing should fit in.  I anxiously rip it open.  So..... 

Pros

It really is adorable

Flattering style 

Seriously soft fabric

Cons

I have to hold my breath and smush my boobs to zip it

I can see my underwear through it

If I sneeze it's going to rip

Me on the left, the monster on the right...

I'm sure there's a valuable lesson here.  Maybe I should eat less chocolate.  Or drink fewer milkshakes.  Or, perhaps I should just do my shopping in person.  I definitely didn't learn said lesson.  But it's there.  In case I want to learn it.  

Should you want your own dress, (it really is adorable) here's where you can buy it.  Just make sure you size up.  And up.  And up again for good measure.  Or in case you need to sneeze.  Or breathe.